Top Bush administration officials were, remarkably, shocked when the Palestinian elections they insisted on resulted in a huge victory for much-hated Hamas instead of the slightly less terrorist-y Fatah party. A new story in Vanity Fair details how President Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and Deputy National Security Advisor Elliott Abrams subsequently tried to do away with this unwanted democracy by secretly encouraging a Palestinian civil war and arming a notoriously brutal Fatah strongman who has been accused of, among other things, having Hamas detainees sodomized with soda bottles. Naturally, the covert plan totally backfired, as "U.S.-backed Fatah fighters inadvertently provoked Hamas to seize total control of Gaza." Whoops-a-daisy.

Vice President Dick Cheney's top Middle East adviser resigned in disgust shortly after the fiasco, and "the administration now appears to be rethinking its blanket refusal to engage with Hamas."

Thankfully, President Bush helped to put this colossal blunder into perspective by reminding everyone today that he still has 10 whole months to wreak havoc in the Middle East by desperately pushing for a peace agreement before his term is over.