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Governor Hobagger
Wall Street Scumbags Not Crying Over Spitzer

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"HONEY, I FUCKED A HO" Spitzer and the missus (Photo: Getty Images)
If words were stocks, the value of "schadenfreude" would be going through the roof right now: none of his political enemies are enjoying Eliot Spitzer's troubles more than his frequent targets on Wall Street. While you might expect a little sympathy, or at least understanding, from financial services types—who knows better about fucking whores than those guys?—you need to remember that Governor Wannadate built his career on the intensive public prosecution of those in the investment industries. Up and down Wall Street you can still hear the plaintive wails of his shattered victims:

• Former Goldman Sachs chair John C. Whitehead was the victim of a Spitzer "tirade," threatened "with 'war' over his public criticism of a case. 'I was astounded,' Mr. Whitehead wrote. 'No one had ever talked to me like that before. It was a little scary." [NYT]

• "'He actually believes he's above the law,' said Ken Langone, a former New York Stock Exchange director who now heads a small investment-banking firm. In his role as prosecutor, Mr. Spitzer sued Mr. Langone for his role in doling out the large pay package of former New York Stock Exchange CEO Dick Grasso. 'I have never had any doubt about his lack of character and integrity—and he's proven me correct.'" [WSJ]

• Friends of Grasso "recalled that Spitzer aides had circulated allegations, never substantiated, that Mr. Grasso had had an improper relationship with his secretary." Among those friends, "Andrew Sabin... said he spoke briefly with Mr. Grasso's wife, Lori. 'I said I'd buy Dick some champagne,' said Mr. Sabin, owner of precious-metals firm Sabin Commodities. 'I'm sure he's happy. I'm sure everybody on Wall Street is happy.'"

Was there no one on the Street to express dismay at the prostitute-screwing governor's untimely fall? Well, sure, but it was one of those corporate-governance experts, who of course would want to make sure that someone was monitoring the way the industry was regulated. Nell Minnow told the Journal: "I'm a huge fan of Eliot Spitzer, and I'll be very sorry if this is the end of his political career. Wall Street is singing, 'Ding, dong, the witch is dead,' but Spitzer set an expectation of better oversight by officials that will continue."

Unfortunately for Spitzer, that oversight will continue while Spitzer himself is elsewhere, possibly fucking whores.

By Alex Balk   03/11/08 10:02 AM
Related: Eliot Spitzer, Governor Hobagger, Wall Street
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