left arrow BackNext right arrow
< BACK TO Fresh Intelligence

Knut and Britney: Even More Alike Than Previously Thought

britney_knut_032808_FRESH.jpg
KINDRED SPIRITS Brit, Knut (Photo: Getty Images)
Yesterday, Markus Roebke, a Berlin Zoo keeper told Britain's Daily Mail that Knut, the once-cuddly polar bear, had become a publicity-addicted psycho, who was addicted to human adulation. Hmmm ... mental problems that manifest themselves as a need for constant attention ... sounds like someone else we know! After the jump, another round of Knut the Polar Bear vs. Britney Spears the paps casualty!

They're addicted to their spectacle
"He actually cries out or whimpers if he sees that there is not a spectator outside his enclosure ready to ooh and aah at him," Roebke says of Knut. "When the zoo had to shut because of black ice everywhere he howled until staff members stood before him and calmed him down." E! Online notes that "Britney's recent media stunts could indicate an addiction" to media attention, and that "people who have grown used to fame often experience a sense of emptiness when it dies down."

Officials think it would be best for them to stay out of the limelight
Roebke insists the best thing for Knut would be a transfer to a less attention-filled zoo, saying. "Knut must go and the sooner the better." Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton suggests a similar course of action for Brit, "we need Britney Spears to stay home instead of traipsing all over town."

They're too unpredictable to play with...
"He is too unpredictable to play with now," Roebke says of Knut. Similar issues of unpredictability were sited when Britney's children were taken from her.

They've both taken written action to prevent contact with others
Roebke says (a bit bitterly) "we are not allowed to have contact with him [Knut] and have received letters that if we breach this order our jobs are on the line." Sounds like Brit's restraining order against Sam Lutfi.

They're competing with younger cuties for fame
Germany has two new baby polar bear cubs, Wilbaer and Flocke, who are to Knut what Miley Cyrus and Jamie Lynne Spears are to Brit.

They've both recently sought solace in acting
A documentary about the orphaned polar bear, Knut and Friends, premiered in Berlin in early March. As you may have heard, Britney recently appeared on an episode of How I Met Your Mother.

They've both relied on father figures, sometimes to an extreme
Abandoned by his mother, Knut was raised with a human being, Thomas Doerflein, as a father figure. He eventually grew too big to safely play with Doerflein, but zoo officials say he just can't get over the man who raised him. In the wake of her breakdown, Britney's father has had to step in and take control of her affairs. Without Daddy Spears as conservator, who knows where Brit would be?

It looks like these days Britney is doing better under Daddy's watch while Knut continues to decline. Wait. It's so clear now: Get Knut over to the Spears compound, pronto!

Comments

Knut is leading a lonely life. This may explain why Knut likes the company with his keeper, Mr Thomas Doerflein, and his audience. I don't think Knut is a psycho or publicity-addicted. His fixation on humans may disappear when Knut has a female polar bear partner.

Posted by: Wai on March 27, 2008 8:58 PM

ditto if Britney goes back to K-Fed.

Posted by: gray on March 27, 2008 9:16 PM

Advertisement


Post a comment

Your comment will not be visible for about a minute. If you don't see your comment when the page reloads, do not post it again. Reload the page in a minute, and you'll see it.

 


Happy Independence Day From Radar

One Last Bear Rub To Round Out The Week

Southampton's $27 Vodka Soda

The First-Ever Vagina Spa

WSJ Prepares For Fourth of July With Insanity!

Mario Lopez Remains Partially Clothed, For Now

Rate Cuts At Gawker Media

C-Rod and A-Rod No Mas

McCain Likely Furious About McCain Rage Stories

Zimbabwe: How The Torturers Live


EXECUTIVE EDITOR:


MANAGING EDITOR:


CONTRIBUTORS:
, , and others


Email us at:
tips@radaronline.com
or IM: TipRadar







Games of Chaunce
New York's biggest gossip source is just an average schmo from Jersey

Confronting the Douchebag Plague
A helpful guide from the forthcoming handbook Hot Chicks With Douchebags

Full Court Press
Charles Kaiser on standout journalism in the latest New Yorker and this week's winners and sinners

RadLibs: This American Life Edition
Create your own Ira Glass narration with Radar's This American Life story generator

I, 'Mobot
A brief history of gay androids





Those Are Some Large Mammaries
Here's to firecrackers, beer, hot dogs, and, um, breasts

IT Would Rather Slap You Upside the Head
Why? Because you're dumb, period

Pixar's Next Effort
A post-WALL-E masterpiece

Douchiest Phone Message Ever
Now we've heard it all

From the Notebook of a Disturbed Child
A tragic tale drawn simple