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< BACK TO Fresh Intelligence Bret Michaels' Girl Dined at C.C.'s All-you-can-eat Buffet
THIS IMAGE HAS NOT BEEN ALTERED Michaels (Photo: Getty Images) Oh, and golf. Jessica, a self-proclaimed high school varsity golfer, mocked Destiney's inferior putting capacity, not knowing of course that it's far more embarrassing to be good at golf than bad. Destiney took it all in stride, demonstrating what she undoubtedly lettered in—rolling around on the ground and flashing her crotch—her own take on the concept of a hole in one. Back at the Hard Rock Hotel, Heather (who lost last season, and was thus clearly an expert on how to snag Michaels) continued her mission to stir up the drama. When told that Daisy has hooked up with Bret "like 500 times," Heather decided Daisy is evil and had to be stopped, and did what every self-respecting groupie would do: talked a whole lot of smack. Destiney got riled up (screaming, rolling around on pool tables, etc) and before long it was time for cocktails. Glasses were thrown. Pointer fingers were waved. People everywhere wept. Daisy said something incomprehensible about her uncle being Oscar de la Hoya and then, "If I wanted to fuck my way out, I would have fucking called him." Weird. Then she confessed to Michaels that not only does she still live with her boyfriend, but she also one time "hung out" with Michaels' band mate, fellow VH1 reality star, C.C. DeVille. At elimination, Michaels narrowed the field to his "holy trinity"—three uniquely intolerable skanks. He distributed the first pass to Daisy, probably because he was afraid her uncle or boyfriend would kick his ass if he doesn't. Daisy, who might actually be a robot, had some sort of weird circuit failure and twitched around for awhile. Other passes went to the preschool-teacher-voiced, granny panty-wearing Ambre, followed by glass-throwing, panty flashing Destiney. Jessica, the only one offering Michaels a chance at a sane relationship, remained passless, because she wasn't rock and roll (read: not a drunken whore). What we learned this week: Nice, clean, and honest loses to skeezy, lying, and implanted in Bret's world. Also, if there were a drinking game in which players took shots when someone said "awesome," they'd be blitzed by the first commercial break. 
Claire, you are performing a very important public service here, and I, for one, deeply appreciate it. Daisy's malfunction at the end was positively spellbinding. I watched it at least three times on the tivo. It appears that something in her short circuited. Posted by: karion on March 31, 2008 4:04 PM Where did Brett find these women at anyway..."Whores Are Us"? After watching Daisy (or was it the silicone) quiver and shake and cry and cry and cry-I had to shut it off and take a shower, not a cold one either, just one to try and feel clean again. I'm sure whatever Daisy has got could be transmitted through my satellite dish. Brett deserves Daisy-they both have a love for makeup and their best days have certainly past. This rose has a lot of thorns. Posted by: stainless on April 1, 2008 8:59 AM Oh Claire...ENCORE, ENCORE!!!! I couldn't have said it better myself. This show is like a train wreck that I can't look away from. Being from the "Age of Hair Bands", I had fond memories of Poison. That was then, this is now. If I hear a "Poison" song on the radio I scramble to turn the station. It's turning me into non-fan. Now I find Brett Michaels to be VERY disappointing. During the first season of "Rock of Love" didn't Michaels state that he wouldn't date an exotic dancer due to the fact that his heart was ripped to shreds because of one? "Every Rose Has It's Thorn". So, he gets rid of Heather. (I actually think she was his perfect match, but that's only my opinion.) Now we have the second season of the show. We all know aka "Frenchy" (cringe) was going nowhere fast, but nonetheless, an exotic dancer. (I feel as though I'm insulting "exotic dancers" by putting Frenchy in their ranks. I do apologize.) That was just kept on the show for complete amusement. ( I don't think he would have touched that even back in the day and wasted on top of that. And if he would touch it now, HEEBIE JEEBIES, SOMEONE GET THE BLEACH AND POWER WASHER, I FEEL DIRTY!!! Now we're down to this...Did Brett have his ear plugs in when "Seizure De La Hoya" said what she did for a living? We know what he was thinking with. (Also would you really want to be mentioning that he's your Uncle when he has those photos floating around? Shyeah, maybe not.) In close, I think that Brett Michaels needs to be with someone his own age and stay away from the wee ones that are young enough to be his daughters. Can I get a witness?! Posted by: chell071 on April 4, 2008 12:51 PM I can't believe it. Daisy is going home. There is some god of reality shows after all. This almost restores my faith (almost) that Brett is capable of making one decent decision a year. What a shocker, oh, and I guess it's crumpled singles time for Daisy again, not that she would give up her "career" for Brett or anyone. Watching Daisy vomit on her fishing excursion and then be told that her tour "ends here" was most satisfying, plus Daisy set some kind of record for being on a show for weeks without ever forming a complete sentence-now that's talent! Posted by: stainless on April 14, 2008 10:31 AM Advertisement |
    
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