Paris Hilton is a woman with many talents, but acting isn't among them. The thespian heiress' latest cinematic offering, The Hottie and the Nottie (but which one is she?!), opened on 111 screens this weekend and sold only $76 in tickets per location, which means that approximately 10 people per theater went to see it.

An embarrassingly low figure, to be sure, but Hilton should take solace in the fact that she's a bigger box office draw than fellow flaxen-haired bimbo Jessica Simpson: Recall that only six people per theater bought tickets to see Simpson's 2007 opus Blonde Ambition when it opened on eight screens in Texas.

Does that mean a movie in which the two share billing would shatter all records for box office incompetence? Or would theater-goers be so morbidly fascinated by the spectacle that they'd actually turn out to see it? We're not really sure, but we're betting that someone will eventually pony up the money to make it happen.