Meet Patrick Aufdenkamp, "mysterious friend," "hanger on," and the reason Lindsay Lohan is headed for a fall from the wagon, if you've bought into the latest celebrity blog narrative. He'll probably be on Perez any day now with poorly P-shopped white dots coming from his nose.

Except, says Aufdenkamp, 22, he's as stumped as anyone as to why he's getting the Sam Lutfi treatment. It could have something to do with hater's paradise TMZ, which wagged its fat finger in his face Tuesday morning and asked is "LiLo Pal Pushing Her Off the Wagon?" A Lohan "family source" was quoted as saying, "He has nothing to offer her, and he looks at Lindsay as his meal ticket."

Aufdenkamp, a stylist who met Lohan during the Freaky Friday filming and says he's been close friends with her for five years, tells Radar he's been getting calls from friends all day about the blog rumors claiming he's a poisonous influence, but he insists, "Anyone who knows me knows that's the farthest from the truth ... I've never had any sort of addiction issue. I go out and have a good time. I'm completely respectful of her, especially."

As for the meal ticket claim, Aufdenkamp says only recently has he dabbled in styling gal pal Lohan, dressing her for the Cloverfield premiere and the Clive Davis Grammy pre-party, but that he typically doesn't like to mix business with pleasure. "I don't usually go there with her, but she's so beautiful that it makes my job easy," he says.