TAIL AND TWO CITIES Represent!

This week: With the writers strike over, will Los Angeles get its groove back?

NYC: Police attempt to track down the so-called "East Side Butcher," a man who fatally filleted one Upper East Side psychiatrist, critically injured another, and then fled, leaving behind a suitcase full of carving tools, women's clothing, and adult diapers.
L.A.: Some self-preserving paparazzi are dropping out of the Britney Spears stalking game. The problem: too many gang-bangers hogging the shots, clogging up the bathroom at Rite Aid, and otherwise riding dirty.
ADVANTAGE: L.A.

NYC: After Radar reports on Butterfish, the delicious and succulent seafood, which may cause your insides to ooze out, Le Bernardin chef Eric Ripert responds, maintaining that his portion size is small, and rarely intestine-rocking.
L.A.: Los Angeles based Wolfgang Puck is conspicuously silent on the subject.
ADVANTAGE: NYC

NYC: Former fitness queen and friend to the Viet Cong, Jane Fonda shocks the Today show's Meredith Viera by using the word "cunt" during a live filming. Complained Alex Balk, Radar editor and frequent user of the term: "she said it, sure. But she didn't say it like she meant it."
L.A.: Fonda's word was censored from West Coast broadcasts. Pussies.
ADVANTAGE: NYC

NYC: Notable news item: The New York Post's "Wrist-Slap for G-Unit Rap Smack: G-Unit rapper Tony Yayo is off the hook for hitting the 14-year-old son of a top producer for rival The Game.
L.A.: Notable news item: LA Weekly's "99 Cent Only Store Candy Overload: What terrible, wonderful candies await the fearless at the 99 Cent Only Store? Read on to find out!
ADVANTAGE L.A.

FINAL SCORE
NYC: 2
L.A.: 2

It's a draw. Kudos to Los Angeles, where the weather is warm, the candy is reasonably priced, and Heidi Montag is forever rolling about in the sand (ridin' dirty in her own way, really)! Also to New York, where we like our Butterfish small and our old broads salty. Tune in next week as the battle rages on ...