GET YOUR MIND RIGHT Tionna

Dear Tionna,

So, like, major congratulations on the new column, it totes rules! Anyway, here's my problem: There's this girl I used to be, like, best friends with? And then she got this new boyfriend and he's a major drag? He totally turned her against me, and she doesn't even see how like majorly controlling and stuff he is? And they even started rumors that my ex-boyfriend and I have a sex tape, which is so not true? So, like, whatever, right, bad friend, I should forget her? But here's the thing: We sort of work at the same place and the higher-ups are always putting us in a position where we come in to contact with each other? I mean, normally I'd be like, OMG, I am so not dealing with you, but I need this job to help promote some of my other work? What should I do?

Love ya?
Lost in California

Dear L.C.,

Girl, your friend is being a total dumbass for letting some dude come in between you guys' friendship. I have been in this situation so many times before that it ain't even funny and it always ends up the same way—with her getting played and crying on my shoulder telling me I was right all along about the scumbag. Your friend will come back around eventually, but right now she is totally hypnotized by the dick. She is so happy that a guy she boned is finally sticking around that she doesn't know what to do with herself. I know you want to save her from being heartbroken from this guy but she is open like a token and there isn't anything you or anybody else can do about it.

The sad thing about your friend is she doesn't really realize that she is doing anything wrong by choosing her man over her friends. She's so into him that she thinks you are the problem and you don't want her to be happy which I totally believe isn't the case in this situation. Your friend is also suffering from something I call having a low self-esteem. Women with low self-esteems will sell out their own mamma just to feel loved because they are missing something within themselves. He knows this and he is definitely playing on it.

Your friend will come back around eventually, but right now she is totally hypnotized by the dickI want to give you some wise advice that someone once told me and that's if you make your friend choose between you and her man, chances are, sweetie, you're gonna lose. So the best thing to do is mind your business; leave her alone for a while and watch how her desperate behind tries to crawl back into your life after he disses and dismisses her ass.

This is what always happens to people who are what I call "suckers for love." In terms of you having to work with this broad, that is a no-brainer; it's dough over hos any day. So you work with her, conduct yourself in a professional matter, get that money, smile for the cameras, and when its time to clock out throw that bitch the deuces (peace sign). Life is far too short to be wasting your time trying to be friends with a person who doesn't care about anything besides a piece of cock.

In other words, get your cash and let that weak chick be. I'll be watching how this all pans out. Thanks for the love by the way.

Your favorite Advice Columnist,
Tionna