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Star Babies Sideline Hunt for Tony Romo

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MATERNITY REWARD Us Weekly cover
Apparently a full 97 percent of all celebrity ladies are pregnant, thinking of becoming pregnant, gave birth last week, or are engaged in some sort of ro-sham-bo battle over Cowboys QB Tony Romo.

Us and Star give all the amazingly boring details about the routine deliveries of Christina Aguilera's son and Nicole Richie's daughter—miracle of life happens for 11 billionth time! Also adding to the world's overpopulation last week, Stella McCartney, Courtney Thorne-Smith, R&B singer Monica, Toni Collette, and David Alan Grier. Sadly, because of the Nicole/X-tina births, these deserving star spawn were only mentioned in an lifeless info box and did not get the full-spread attention they deserved.

Speaking of baby plans, after diligently trying to break up Brangelina for the better part of a year, the Bauer Bunch takes the line that Angie and Brad are rock solid and "trying" to have another bio-baby. We're sorry, but we are never so creeped out as when friends tell us they are trying for a baby. Like, seriously, we spend a lot of time trying not to visualize our pals—pale, pasty lawyers, accountants, and graphic designer types—making the beast with two backs. And sure, Brad and Angie are perhaps more genetically blessed than, say, our sportswriter buddy who doesn't actually do anything athletic, but still, eww. Sex becomes frighteningly unsexy when its ultimate goal is a screaming, pooping "blob" (to borrow Angie's pet name for daughter Shiloh). But we digress.

Both Life & Style and In Touch report that Wanted star Ang may already be in a family way. Their evidence: She drank water instead of wine at the Hollywood Critics Choice Awards, had a gyno appointment that may or may not have been one of the scheduled two per year, and seemed to be sprouting this year's must have accessory, the baby bump. (To us it just looks as though she's slouching. But, hey, there's an argument for good posture right there: If you don't stand up straight you might get knocked up.)

In Touch goes on to spread unfounded pregnancy rumors about Eva Longoria, Gwen Stefani, Avril Lavigne, Pam Anderson, two-year-old Violet Affleck, Us Weekly editor Janice Minn, and a posthumous pregnancy for Anna Nicole Smith. (Are we allowed to make Anna Nicole Smith jokes? Is she funny yet? If not, simply insert the name of your favorite dead actress above.)

In a surprising turn for OK!, which usually prints the truth according to a star's publicist, the mag runs a cover about Brit trying to get preggers by married paparazzi boyfriend Adnan Ghalib. Their telltale sign that Brits is on the pregnancy prowl was that she was spotted out with Adnan in the wedding dress she wore when tying the knot to K-Fed in 2004—and here we simply thought that her wearing the dress signaled she was siding with Carrie Underwood in the Tony Romo ro-sham-bo. According to OK!, Brit wants to replace the kiddies the judge took away from her with shiny new children free of stained teeth. Those crazy Spears gals with their magical mystery uteri! Our favorite part of the story is about how Brit is planning to adopt Adnan's Islam faith. Don't
Muslims in this country deal with enough prejudice already?

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