Prince William's back-on-again girlfriend, Kate Middleton, turns 26 today, and to honor the occasion, British tabloid hacks are racing to pin down elusive details of what some corners are calling "an imminent engagement." After all, Middleton is freshly unemployed after quitting her part-time fashion job, and reports are circulating that Scotland Yard is planning a round the clock security detail for her in spite of the fact that no official announcements have been made.

Certainly, now that Prince Harry's busty blonde paramour Chelsy Davy is out of the picture, Britons have been hankering for a public royal romance to spice things up a bit, and a majority of the country sees that commoner Kate would be an invaluable asset to the nation, making the monarchy seem more modern and accessible. Even bookmaker William Hill seems to wish they'd get hitched already, having recently ceased taking bets on whether the pair will marry in favor of bets on when a ceremony will occur.

Word has it that staff members at royal residences are also deferring to Kate as they would to a future Queen of England, and that Prince Charles and wife Camilla have been supportive of the match, perhaps remembering how badly things turned out when they were discouraged from marrying the first time around. After all, nobody needs another tampon-gate.

So all this flattering news should give Kate an added reason to celebrate today. Except, of course, that there's another bonus to being an almost royal: wire-tapping!!!