Heath Ledger still dead, still sad. Mary-Kate Olsen still partying, perhaps still hiding something about still sad death of Heath Ledger. Britney Spears still crazy, surprisingly uninvolved in MK still partying or still sad death of Heath Ledger. But wait stop, breaking news! ANGELINA JOLIE knocked up with TWINS. With five out of five weeklies reporting, we're more cautious than CNN on primary night, but we're still going to go ahead and call it: Angie's in a family way.

In Touch claims it was the first to break the news in their January 28 issue, while Star says they broke it on their website. But when Angie showed up at the SAG Awards on Sunday wearing what can best be described as a vintage Hermes pup tent, all the other glossies had to face the truth. Star says that Brad and Angie needed to undergo in vitro and that she's craving Oreos and Doritos. Apparently, Ange told Brad by putting his hand on her stomach and announcing, "We did it!" Sadly this confirms that despite award-winning performances and humanitarian missions, Brad and Angie are just as dopey as everyone else, thinking that the biology 101 of pregnancy is the world's greatest accomplishment. I mean come on, getting preggers is something at which Nicole Richie and the Spears girls excel.

OK! gives mind-numbingly boring details of The Wanted actress' morning sickness and Brad's plans to redo the nursery in a neutral yellow. We have a confession to make: Sometimes when our stay-at-home mom friend calls us and starts telling her these kinds of things, we are really scanning the weeklies for Brit's latest crazy or new show ideas, but when OK! writes that to make room for the new babes, Shiloh—the youngest Jolie-Pitt—will be getting her own room with her first "big-girl" bed, the rag officially becomes even less inspiring than that friend's trials and tribulations of potty training.

Speaking of unpleasant TMI, Life & Style has multiple reports from insiders/friends of friends of Brangie's assistants about Angie's "scary moments" of cramping and worrying obsessively over said cramping. We once had a pregnant officemate who would share these kind of details, and our heart goes out to these insiders who can expect months of discussions about pains, hemorrhoids, and centimeters dilated. And apparently we can expect that weekly readers can expect those as well—it's going to be a long nine months.