On CBS' The Early Show this morning, Dr. Phil said Lynne Spears called him to intervene and meet with Britney before she was released from the hospital Saturday morning. But just what were Oprah's lap-mutt's intentions when he thrust himself into Spears' room at Cedars Sinai Hospital? Could Dr. Phil have had some big dreams that Britney might appear on his show today?

Phil claims he talked with Britney for close to an hour, but hospital sources say it was more like 15 minutes and that Britney appeared to not want to talk with him.

"My meeting with Britney and some of her family members this morning in her room at Cedars leaves me convinced more than ever that she is in dire need of both medical and psychological intervention [No shit, Phil -- Ed.]. She was released moments before my arrival and was packing when I entered the room. We visited for about an hour before I walked with her to her car. I am very concerned for her."

Was Phil able to cement the Britney appearance? Not likely.

Britney fled to Las Vegas with paparazzi pal Adnan Ghalib to drink mimosas and wear dark sunglasses after her release—much to the chagrin of Dr. Phil, who told Daddy Spears that letting Britney go after she was discharged from the hospital was "one of the worst decisions that could have been made."

Finally, in news more shocking than Dr. Phil's arrival on the scene, hospital reports are surfacing that Britney tested clean (!) for both drugs and alcohol at the hospital. Kind of disappointing. We were looking for some new prescription drug ideas to help get us through the winter doldrums.

What's left? Oh yeah, mamma Lynne Spears, still stinging from the cancellation of her parenting guidebook, is working on a memoir. Meaning she could possibly believe there is something that happens with the Spears clan that the world is not privy to.