American Idol embraced its own unique brand of cheese with the opening sequence of the Miami auditions episode on Wednesday, aping the holy temple of TV cheesiness, Miami Vice.

But after that fleeting moment of honesty, viewers were again treated to the patented Idol mix of manipulation, likely deception, and as always, pure delusion.

One contestant from the manipulation category was pretty, slender Shannon McGough, a butcher and the apple of her doting parents' eyes. AI producers pulled one of their semiregular bait-and-switch gags with Shannon. Her looks and her parents' preening over her accomplishments made it seem as though she might come in and rock the judges' worlds, but in the end, she was outrageously bad, with a screechy tone and shuddering vibrato that wouldn't appeal to undersexed billygoats.

As far as likely deceptions go, there was Robbie Carrico. Carrico's boy-band past long ago had him pegged by votefortheworst.com as one of several "plants." Though host Ryan Seacrest alluded to the singer's former career in his vaguely worded introduction to the segment, Carrico pointedly introduced himself to the judges as just "Robbie." Carrico made transparent attempts to come off as as a "rocker," but his singing indicated that he was nothing more than a thin-voiced boy-band tenor.

And teen contestant Julie Dubela was the outstanding example in the deluded category. The pixie-cute 12-year-old American Juniors contestant has become a blasé and self-important teen badly in need of a reality check. Though judge Simon Cowell worked hard to provide that splash of cold water during her audition, Dubela ended up providing some of the most cringe-worthy moments as she insistently stood on stage trying to sing over Cowell's objections. Good times.

By the time the Miami show was over some hilarity was in order. To that end, here's Miami Vice star Don Johnson (above), singing his scratchy anthem of love from 1986, "Heartbeat."