TAIL AND TWO CITIES Represent!

Coke vs. Pepsi. Kennedy vs. Castro. Heidi vs. L.C. Epic yet minor rifts when compared to the timeless power struggle between New York and Los Angeles. In the name of settling this battle royale, each week Radar will take stock and determine which city truly holds the competitive edge.

This week: Tragedy struck the midwest, leaving residents of both coasts to wonder what it all means. (Also to wonder, what exactly is "Von Maur?") Yet Christmas cheer (and a whole lot of Hanukkah chutzpah) still managed to abound on both sides of our great nation.

L.A.: The "Midnight Ridazz," a group of rowdy, renegade bicycling enthusiasts, take to the streets of Los Angeles to express their "growing frustration with L.A.'s car-only culture."
NYC: Thousands of tourists clog Rockefeller Center, clamoring to take family photos in front of its magnificently decked Christmas tree. The city goes on "gridlock alert".
Advantage: L.A.

L.A.: Notable headline from this week's Los Angeles Times states, "Jews, Asians, are building bonds"
NYC: Notable headline from this week's New York Post states, "22 Sex Fiends Face Deport"
Advantage: NYC

L.A.: Peripatetic poptard Britney Spears begins a search for yet another SoCal manse. For her dog to poop on!
NYC: Madonna sics her lawyers on a Manhattan co-op that, apparently, discriminates against born-again Eurotrash
Advantage: NYC

L.A.: It's the first night of Hanukkah!
NYC: It's the first night of Haunukkah!
Advantage: Draw. When Jewry abounds, everybody wins!

L.A.: Striking writers. Day 32. L.A.'s pulse slows. Entertainment as we know it begins to die a slow, self-righteous death.
NYC: The Sex and the City movie trailer reminds NYers of their slutty, superficial salad days.
Advantage: NYC

L.A.: Southern California surfers take the day off to ride 12-foot-plus winter waves.
NYC: The city receives its first snow, which, in the few minutes before cigarette butts, crack vials, and the ubiquitous hurl pile mar its pure surface, is downright lovely.
Advantage: L.A.

FINAL SCORE:
L.A.: 2
NYC: 3

As Christmas draws near, it's NYC for the win. Somewhere, a played out group of middle-aged women is raising a glass to their whoring days. Tune in next week as the battle rages on ...