Nothing like a pious coloring book to indoctrinate the kids into your religion of choice. Just ask the New York Archdiocese, whose recently released Being Friends, Being Safe, Being Catholic expounds nuggets of righteous knowledge like "God never stops caring. Ever." And even better, "God is a person. Angels are also persons."

Then, like any good Roman Catholic-themed coloring book in a post 9/11 world, Being Friends warns of the world's evils. There's selfishness. There are bullies, weirdos with candy, and cursing little-league coaches.

But then things get creepy. Like obese, hairy-chested, online predator-creepy. On the next page, things get pederast-priest creepy.

The Archdiocese didn't get back to Radar by post time. Edward Mechmann, the director of the Archdiocese's Safe Environment Program, told Newsweek: "It's a nice little vehicle for speaking to kids about [abuse]." That, and a way to scare the bejesus out of them—a Catholic tradition.

[Full-size creepy coloring book images after the jump!]