THEY SHOOT DOGS, DON'T THEY? Blackwater guard, dog (inset)
• Dog days: Staffers at the New York Times' Baghdad bureau claim Blackwater bodyguards shot Hentish, the Times' resident canine, bringing all new meaning to the rogue firm's pawprint logo. (Ed: Are we sure this didn't come from the TNR's Baghdad Diarist?)

• Christmas critic: Ron Paul responds to Christian crusader Mike Huckabee's new ad celebrating the birth of Christ and featuring a backdrop of crucifix-inspired bookshelves: "It reminds me of what Sinclair Lewis once said ... 'When fascism comes to this country, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross.'"

• Bilbo blockbuster: In a daring career move, Peter Jackson signs on to produce a pair of films based on The Hobbit, affirming, "We are delighted to continue our journey through Middle Earth."

• Insult to injury?: TMZ, curiously defensive of celebrity playground Les Deux, not only discloses the name of a potential rape victim filing suit against the club's owner, but they blast out pictures of the 19-year-old partying at the club, proving, ya know, she was totally asking for it.

• Life imitates Shawshank: New Jersey prison inmates smash bricks, store pieces in their footlockers, then cover their escape hole with a poster, leaving their jailers a "happy holidays" note.

• Gayest conspiracy ever?: Perez Hilton is kicked off of YouTube for copyright infringement after posting a clip of a tipsy Liza Minnelli. In his own YouTube video, Perez hints at a Liza-YouTube conspiracy, claims it's his first copyright violation, and says "I've probably sent more traffic to YouTube than anyone else on the Internet."

• Bimbo eruption?: Writer Daniel Radosh says the rumors about John Edwards having an alleged affair with former Jay McInerney squeeze Rielle Hunter are about to resurface.