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Writers' Strike: Not So Bad?

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PENNED-UP RAGE Writers strike
While the writers' strike has already cast a shadow over the young TV season, things are looking up for moviegoers, who are likely to be pretty psyched about what's not getting made. Specifically, four films that have been halted—each of which, at least at this embryonic stage, sound like steaming piles of Gigli. Here's a quick look at what you didn't want to see anyway:

Angels and Demons: The whole strike is almost worth the pleasure of seeing Dan Brown's prequel to The Da Vinci Code get pushed back. The movie reunites Ron Howard and Tom Hanks in what is sure to be a mediocre film that hauls in the GDP of a small country at box office. Your aunt's probably pissed, but you're not.

Pinkville: Old friend Oliver Stone's back with some kind of war flick about the My Lai Massacre—talk about upbeat material. In an age when war movies sell about as well as Pepsi Clear, pushing this one into a year with a new president might be a good economic scheme. But with Bruce Willis and Xzibit heading up the cast, it's more likely this this thing will go the way of the women and children of My Lai.

Nine: We've got no problems with gays, but we do have a problem with their musicals. Seriously, musicals are awful. So when the Weinstein Company delayed Nine, a Fellini-inspired musical starring Javier Bardem as a philandering director, we were pretty satisfied. Sure, the cast sounds great in that smokin' hot Latin kind of way (Bardem, Penélope Cruz), but musicals need to be stopped and they need to be stopped now.

Shantaram: An adaptation of the Gregory David Roberts novel, Shantaram follows Lindsay (Johnny Depp) as he escapes prison, travels to India and Afghanistan, and tries desperately to prove he's more than Captain Jack Sparrow. Sure it's the least terrible sounding of the canceled films, but do you really want to see something directed by the chick who did The Namesake? Didn't think so.

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