Heartbreak is propelling British model-turned-writer Sophie Dahl back to London with some odd plans afoot.

Dahl gives a big middle finger to New York in this month's British Vogue, telling writer David Jenkins that, after a nasty split with brocialite Dan Baker, she has transplanted herself back to England to become something of a cat lady—baking cakes, making jam, getting "tremendously fat," and wearing "eccentric hats." In the article she also slams the Upper East Side social circuit, saying "I'm a real English girl. There's an irreverence, and an ease, and a humour, and a getting it" in England, adding, "New York is so regimented, particularly in that WASPy way." What preppy Baker allegedly did not get was Dahl's ongoing friendship with her prune-like rocker ex Mick Jagger.

And who really can blame him for that?