How confusing. Was Sarah Jessica Parker on the wrong Bravo show? Shouldn't the oft-proclaimed (for some reason) fashion maven known for wearing that ridiculous tutu on Sex and the City have been on Tim Gunn's Guide to Style instead of Project Runway? Perhaps because Gunn's makeover show has become about as stale as the "celebrity" guests the designers are supposed to get excited over each season, the producers decided that enough money had been stockpiled to get a real celebrity guest—Mrs. Ferris Bueller.

The 14 designers were challenged to create something for Parker's affordable clothing label Bitten. It's harder than it sounds (if, you know, it actually sounds hard): Parker's line is legitimately affordable and not for play (see: Beyoncé's House of Dereon). Not only were the designers given a paltry $15 budget, but they also had to appeal to Parker's weird Upper East Side art-chic aesthetic. Naturally, world-class loons Christian and Elisa were among the magnificent seven chosen to build their designs.

Many of the results were surprisingly acceptable. Vera Wang look-alike Victorya created a beautiful winning dress in spite of her congenital inability to refrain from strapping a big-ass centerpiece on whatever she designs. However, given the rampant Thanksgiving theme to the episode, it's not implausible that she was going for some kind of fashion cornucopia. Not that that's any excuse.

The holiday theme was most prevalent in Marion the florist's hideous Wilma Flintstone couture; it was a dress that left Michael Kors wondering if Pocahontas was appearing on the runway. Heidi Klum's thoughts? "It's out of the basement. It looks dirty, like a rag to me." Christian's ego wouldn't allow a bigger turkey than his own to walk down the runway, so he whipped up an '80s music video-inspired stewardess frock with a zip-up Knight Rider jacket. When his retro-trash got trashed by the judges, Christian tried appealing to Parker, but she was having none of it, insisting that the dress looked more severe in person than in design. Most surprising, however, is that usual turkey Elisa had the second place design of the competition: a classy cape and dress that, naturally, utilized similar material and colors from her previous week's effort.

Perhaps the one person who missed out on the Thanksgiving theme was Frau Klum. Once bubbly when eating for two, Heidi is much more cranky now that she's again slender and eating for none. After discovering Elisa uses her own spit to mark her fabric, Klum continued her season of bitchiness by wondering about Elisa's planet of origin and remarking, "You shouldn't tell people you do that. Ever."

We kind of see her point.