BOYZ IN THE HOOD Bad Sesame Streeters
Why, Gen-X'er, did you become a flannel-wearing faux liberal, trusting (in theory) of the good will of your Socialistically like-minded fellow citizens but actually rendered cynical by a much grimmer reality you encountered in adult life?

Sesame Street. It totally fucked you up.

In a story from the Sunday Times magazine we've admittedly overlooked until now, TV writer Virginia Heffernan files a rarefied piece on the first two volumes of Sesame Street, now out on DVD, and the warning message they bear: "These early Sesame Street episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's preschool child."

What the hell?

Heffernan discovers:

• The then-scary (1969) Upper East Side browntone at 123 Sesame Street was decrepit. Seriously in need of a reno.

• Closeted Bert and Ernie lived in a despicable, maybe illegal basement apartment for which even today's Williamsburg trustafarians wouldn't pay too much.

• "A pretty, lonely girl like Sally might find herself befriended by an older male stranger who held her hand and took her home. Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife and have some milk and cookies, but ... well, he could have wanted anything."

• Said milk "looks dangerously whole."

• Nary an iPod could be found.

• In one scene, a character's transistor radio says something about a "senior American official" and "two billion in credit over the next five years," Heffernan writes. "That conjures a bleak economic climate, with war debt and stagflation in the offing."

• Cookie monster smokes, then eats, a pipe.

That's to say nothing of Oscar the Grouch's borderline personality disorder and serious need of Zoloft. Or Snuffleupagus, a flashback of acid-casualty Big Bird. Or the fact that the whole twisted show was expressly targeted to "the 4-year-old inner-city black youngster."