FIRST, WRONG Perez
This morning, as avid Web news junkies logged on and found the New York Times reporting Antonio Gonzales's resignation, they surely shared a common curiosity: Where was Perez Hilton on this?

After all, he was the one who broke the news on Friday that, unbeknowst to the rest of the media, the world's most enduring tyrant, Fidel Castro, had died. "PerezHilton.com was the first media outlet in the world to break the news of Castro's death," boasted Mario Lavandeira in his pink persona, Perez, in no less than four posts.

There's just one problem. Not only did Perez scoop the Miami Herald, CNN, AP, et al. He scooped the U.S. State Department and Cuban officials, who say Fidel is very much alive and kicking and actively oppressing ... same as ever, really. Castro, himself, reportedly penned and signed an essay published Sunday about a historic Cuban political figure.

But isn't that exactly what you'd expect these people to do?

It seems the blogger whose claim to journalistic fame is outing (shock!) Lance Bass as gay, the man who once told Radar, "I'm rarely wrong.... I work super-hard to gain the trust and respect of my readers," might do best to get back on the "Gayken" beat. Or he'll occasionally milk the rumor until the 81-year-old dictator actually does kick the bucket, then collect a personal appearance fee to host the fiesta in the streets of Miami.

In the meantime—Ooh! Look! Party of Five alumna Lacey Chabert is flashing her crotch to the paparazzi! Or is that actually Halloween star Danielle Harris? 0 for 2.

Lavandeira did not return requests for comment by post time.

PREVIOUSLY
• Pop Goes Perez