ROCKY MOUNTAIN LOW Cirque Lodge, Lohan (inset)

If reports that Lindsay Lohan checked into a Utah rehab this week are true, she'll be enjoying her own private hot tub with mountain views in a tastefully decorated facility while meditating among the deer and elk—and abundant local year-round snow.

According to CBS News radio, Lohan checked into Cirque Lodge, a posh high-altitude drug-and-alcohol sobriety center (think Promises in the Rockies). The facility has its own helicopter, accommodates up to 16 patients, and, according to its website, is an "exquisitely decorated mountain retreat with tastefully appointed rooms and amenities. Its warm and luxurious accommodations provide an ideal place for drug treatment.... Located in the beautiful mountains of Sundance, Utah, at the base of majestic Mount Timpanogos ... Native Americans have been coming to Mount Timpanogos for rejuvenation and healing for millennia. We are building on that legacy."

Wait. They had crack back then?

[Full tour of Cirque Lodge after the jump!]

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL TOUR!

The Lodge may boast of a Sundance location, but it is not—repeat, not—connected to Robert Redford's Shangri-La hotel compound of bars, restaurants, stores, ski slopes, and condos in the hills just outside of Park City, the namesake for the Sundance Film Festival. Yet it does have the quaint mountain resort trappings of meditation rooms, saunas, private fireplaces, and hot tubs and was named one of the best rehabs in the U.S. by Town & Country. It worked for alums Mary-Kate Olsen and David Hasselhoff (sort of).

But beware. While the facility may be in a secluded notch in the Utah mountains, far away from L.A. coke dealers, blow is readily available. Nearby Park City, since the 1970s, has had the reputation as a town that loves its snow—winter and summer varietals. Suffice it to say, if Lohan got the itch, scoring wouldn't be hard. Or
as one town resident puts it: "She could have delivery at her door in less than 30 minutes, like Domino's."

Let the healing begin!

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL TOUR!