It's not easy to be a maybe-gay Republican these days. You have to be stealth, soliciting affairs on the side while you publicly rail against same-sex marriage. You have a twink on the side, but a Bible in your hand, and there's always the chance you'll get caught. You are stuck between politics and, um, a hard place—it's a double life that rivals Bruce Wayne's.

And then, you get exposed. Through careless IMs or public bathroom shenanigans, the whole thing comes toppling down like a house of cards, and no rainbow flag or conservative diatribes can save you from losing credibility with the gays and the GOP. So what can you do to save your image, gay Republicans? Turns out, not much, but we at Radar are here to offer what little assistance we can. We turned to PR powerhouse Matthew Traub, who now handles celebrity crises at Dan Klores Communications but spent many good years fixing troubles on Capitol Hill. While Traub say there is no true redemption for total hypocrisy, there are a few things a closeted righty can do to help his cause.

Inspired by the recent Senator Larry Craig mess, gay Republicans, you're in the PR/ER!

Accept the fact that hypocrisy hurts
Traub: "It's difficult to be a hypocrite in politics, and that's what's at work here. Being gay is immaterial and irrelevant. The problem is if you exercise hypocrisy in your policy positions and how you vote. Here's a guy [Craig] who has always stood up against the rights of gays and lesbians, and has supported a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. He has opposed efforts to give gays and lesbians equal protection under the law. He's been a leader on these issues. If he is gay, he is a complete hypocrite, and it is dangerous to get busted as a hypocrite in D.C."

Try not to deny that you like man-on-man action
"If Craig is gay, which we are assuming but none of us knows, I think he's handled this incredibly poorly. Though I'm not sure how you come back from years of standing up and discriminating against fellow gay citizens and explain it away. What do you say? Sorry, I'm a self-hater? The American public can be very forgiving—I'm not sure about the Idaho public—but in order to gain forgiveness you have to seek it, and to do that you need to admit what you have done wrong. In the case of Craig, that was being a hypocrite. You have to accept the the responsibility for what you have done. A well-worn cautionary note in politics: The cover up is worse than the crime."

Seek redemption—if there is any—and appeal to the gays
"Craig should seek forgiveness. But what is he asking forgiveness for? For engaging in what is deemed lewd behavior? What he should really do if he is gay is come out and ask forgiveness for encouraging prejudice and hate against people who are just like him. He may lose a Senate seat as a result of it, but he will gain the respect of many others. Don't wait till your death bed to have a death-bed conversion."