Amy Winehouse: Wino and her new hubby, Blake Fielder-Civil, are angling to become the 21st century's Sid and Nancy. Amy told Britain's the Sun that she smacks Blake around when they're on the sauce. According to Amy, "I'm either a really good drunk or I'm an out-and-out shit, horrible, violent, abusive, emotional drunk ... If [Blake] says one thing I don't like, then I'll chin him." Her label rep says Amy's jawing is being "taken out of context." We think a woman who heckles Saint Bono is probably capable of serious violence.

Cloris Leachman: Ol' Clorrie is threatening carnage just like Winehouse after Mel Brooks said the 81-year-old was too ancient to reprise her role as Frau Blucher in the musical version of Young Frankenstein. Leachman's rep responds: "Cloris challenges Mel to three rounds in the ring, and we'll see who's left standing."

Dermot Mulroney: The Family Stone heartthrob has filed for divorce from Catherine Keener after seventeen years of marriage, proving she finds him neither lovely nor amazing.

Tom Wolfe: The white-suited septuagenarian is surprised his book The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test is being adapted by Gus Van Sant—40 years after its publication. "The biggest problem will be the LSD trips that can be done so much better in print than on film," Wolfe claims.

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