GOP GAGGLE Republican candidates, Nancy Reagan and Schwarzenegger (inset)

So Republicans hate terrorists and love them some Reagan. (You know your party faces challenges when you spend the better part of a national presidential debate wishing you could resurrect a dead guy for a run.) But what of the really vital, personal, common sense stuff—the factors by which, as smart as we like to consider ourselves, we'll eventually judge our candidates? What did we learn last night? We learned ...

Who doesn't believe in evolution: Tancredo, Brownback, Huckabee

Who was put on the spot to explain the differences between Sunni and Shia Islam: Giuliani, who at least did better than the current Democratic chairman of the House Intelligence Committee

Who would consider amending the Constitution so that Arnold Schwarzenegger could run for president: Huckabee, McCain, Giuliani

FRO CHOICE Who is this? Read on ...

Who believes we're "on the right track" in Iraq: McCain, who also said, "If we withdraw, there will be chaos, there will be genocide and they will follow us home"

Who wants to get buck wild on Iran: Former Armed Services Committee Chairman Duncan Hunter, who noted that Iran is currently supporting the murder of U.S. soldiers in Iraq and said the U.S. "has license to take whatever actions are necessary"

Which candidate opposes the troop surge in Iraq: Ron Paul, who voted against the authorizing the war in 2002

Which candidates are open to federal funding for embryonic stem cell research: McCain, Giuliani. Former Health and Human Services Secretary Thompson would wait to learn more from ongoing research before making a decision

Which candidate left Congress in 1984 and was replaced by Tom DeLay: Paul, who later ran for and won another congressional seat in 1996

Who will continue to have problems with Republican primary voters on the abortion issue: Giuliani, who gave a meandering response to a question about overturning Roe v. Wade, and Romney, who had to explain why he wasn't pro-life when he ran for governor of Massachusetts

Who would be comfortable hiring illegal immigrants to remodel his basement: Maybe anti-illegal immigration activist Tom Tancredo

That: John McCain would not be comfortable with Tom Tancredo as his head of immigration control

Who is connected to MC Rove: Gilmore, because he is widely believed to have been pushed out as GOP chairman by Rove in 2001, and Tancredo, who was once told by Rove to "never darken the doorstep of the White House" again.

Who could support a Republican nominee who doesn't support overturning Roe v. Wade: Surprisingly, Brownback

Who had a four inch-tall afro in college: Also surprisingly, Brownback.