BRING-'EM-HOMEBOYS Obey, Byrd

Congress appears to be within days of sending a bill to President Bush that calls for the withdrawal of troops from Iraq. As Democratic leaders work to deliver on the promise that helped bring them to power, they have placed two men in charge of hammering out the final details of this critical legislation. So who are they?

Rep. Dave Obey (D-WI) is described as "a very, very bright guy with a very, very short fuse." With the temperament of Sonny Corleone, Obey has been locking horns with congressional adversaries for decades. He once threw down on the House floor with former Rep. Tom Delay, who called him a "gutless chicken shit" for questioning whether the Hammer was too legit too quit. In another spat, he came close to fisticuffs with now-imprisoned ex-Rep. "Duke" Cunningham over a dispute on earmarks.

More recently, Obey gained attention for an unpleasant spat in which he explained to the mother of a Marine that "these idiot liberals" were not playing a helpful role in stopping the war. Obey has been known to berate reporters and lobbyists, and there are half-joking rumors of a spot on the rug in his office that helpfully demarks where one can safely stand without risk of being hit by a tossed phone receiver.

The other half of this duo, Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV), is regarded by some as the "conscience of the Senate" but could be mistaken for doddering "Uncle Lewis" from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

Byrd, who was caught napping by C-Span last year, attended a recent hearing about contaminated pet food in which he reportedly "called himself 'Popeye the Sailor Man,' and demanded the witnesses be sworn in, even though the hearing had been going on for nearly an hour." With a KKK membership and a vote against the Civil Rights Act decades behind him, Byrd has since opined that race problems were "largely behind us," too, but noted that, "I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time."