Though the voice sounds very little like the gravely voiced TV exec we know from 30 Rock, Alec Baldwin is allegedly the father on a tape TMZ just posted. He's leaving a seething message for his daughter. She's 12. He calls Kim Basinger, his baby momma, a "thoughtless pain in the ass." The whole thing seems to stem from the fact that, and this is serious, Baldwin's daughter's phone was off for a scheduled call. But any further description of the tape cannot possibly do it justice. Needless to say, this probably settles the custody dispute.

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