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Us somehow fashions the Star story into a four-page spread, getting her to dish about her makeup artist, clothier, and hair stylist in a way that brings back icky memories of her fully sponsored wedding to banker/gay rumor magnet Al Reynolds in 2004.
Life & Style's exclusive is limited to this gem: "I'm eating healthier and exercising." Which is almost identical to sister pub In Touch's "I'm eating right and exercising."
Ok!'s exclusive doesn't even address the fact that Star looks absolutely nothing like The View gab girl we all grew to know and wish we hadn't. Instead, they get the skinny on her new Court TV talk show, where, apparently, we'll be spared the details of Star and Al's erotic adventures. "My mom told me marriage is between two people," Star tells OK!. "I'm happy to keep it that way now." Insert the sigh of relief heard 'round the world.
Which leads to the next question Star wages for our weekly warriors: When playing nice with Bridezilla, can you still mention the gastric-bypass surgery she all but admitted to Larry King in 2006. (When King asked if her term "medical intervention" meant surgery, she replied, "What else could it mean?") For instance, Star magazine (no relation) gets the most out of the former fattie, but at what cost? Normally the snarkiest of the pack, Star's two-page interview makes no reference to stomach stapling. In Touch and OK! also remain mum. Life & Style uses the gab girl's own coy phrase, "a medical intervention," and Us rehashes the whole scandal in a pull quote.
None of Star's exclusive quotes nail down her exact weight; luckily there are plenty of fitness gurus with books and training packages to promote who are willing to weigh in. Guesses range from 127 lbs. (In Touch) to 135 lbs. (Star, Life & Style). Leaving women everywhere wondering, "Oh my god, do I weigh more than Star Jones?"
Related: Al Reynolds, Hollywood, Media, Star Jones, Tabloid Translator
