PLEADING CONTENDERS Larry Birkhead, Howard K. Stern (background)

• Closure?: A judge has ordered DNA tests for all the potential fathers of Anna Nicole's daughter Dannielynn. Even you.

• Best in Show: Dog the Bounty Hunter and his buxom wife Beth were given an award from Hawaiian lawmakers for being the best big-haired crime fighters on the islands.

• But does it kill kittens?: According to a Salt Lake City court, Proctor and Gamble does not worship the devil.

• 'Roids vs. Oxycontin: Jacked Cali Gov. Arnold calls bloated bloviator Rush Limbaugh "irrelevant." Rush fires back that Arnold sold out.

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