According to a press release posted on British pr site Pressbox.co.uk on Sunday, and currently making the rounds on e-mail, Tom Cruise is scheduled to give a series of public anti-psychiatry talks at the Scientology Celebrity Center in L.A. in October. Though some less discerning outlets took the bait, lecture topics like, "How Psychiatry Invented Schizophrenia" and "Handling Sexual Dis-Orientation," sounded a bit too outlandish even for Tom's taste. Curious, we called our old pal Bert Fields, Cruise’s legendary—and much feared—lawyer, whose name and contact information are listed at the bottom of the release.

Radar: So what’s the story with this press release?

Bert Fields: It’s totally phony. I never issued that release. Tom is not giving any lectures. I’m going to look into it, because, in my view, it’s forgery, wire fraud, and apparently committed on an interstate basis. So if I can find out who did this, I certainly intend to pursue every remedy I can find. You’re the second call I’ve had this morning from people who picked this up. Most people I think have probably seen it on that British website. They’ve said they are taking it down, because I immediately informed them that I hadn’t sent out any press release.

Radar: One tip-off is that they misspelled your name.

BF: Yeah, it’s kind of sad. It’s way off base, and of course you could tell from looking at the names of the supposed lectures that it’s nothing that comes from Tom. You know, “Out of the Closet and into the Auditing Room” is not something Tom is going to put as the name of a lecture. He’s not, in fact, giving any lectures. If he did I would sell tickets.

Radar: The British site still hasn’t taken it down, ya know. [Update: The link was removed Wednesday morning.]

BF: That’s interesting, because they promised me yesterday that they were going to take it down, so I have to jump on them a little bit. Okay, talk to you later. Bye.